Perfect imperfections
by ACreativeThought
Summary: All any of us really caring about is the popularity we either gain or lose depending on the choices we make concerning who we date, what parties we go to, what cooler we drink and other stupid little masses of insignificants. Baley.
1. the final escape

A/N: this is actually a pretty screwed up thing but I had to write it to get it out of my head and to maybe rid myself of writers block for my other two stories that I have yet to finish.

**Rated M for a good reason.**

Brooke Davis is the most beautiful person to grace the earth with her presence. I've known this forever and so has everyone else on earth. Peyton Sawyer is creative and funny, sarcastic and beautiful, Lukas Scott is a talented writer and basketball player, Nathan Scott is the star of the basketball team and a complete hunk. Then there's me, Haley James, I don't have all that much going for me except that I'm smart but even that doesn't stop the hole in my chest that gnaws at my very being. Brooke doesn't know how beautiful she is, They say she's hot and sexy but she doesn't understand that she's actually gorgeous. I didn't just love her because she's pretty, honestly I don't know why I love her so much I just do. I can't help it anymore then she can help loving Lukas.

Everyday I deal with the troubles of being gay. Most people don't care who's gay or not but not in Tree Hill. Besides the few friends listed above I had no one. Simply because they hated that I came out. They'll never know how much pain they've caused me. They'll never know how much I love Brooke, They'll never know that each time I think of them a small voice in the back of my head pushes me to my inevitable end. The final escape. So I sat in my room staring blankly at the wall, as if wishing it to give me hope. But it never came. I rolled up my sleeve and uncovered countless scars across my thin slender arms. I stared into my right hand, the blade was clean and sharp. It poked it with my finger, I'd always preferred them sharp so that I didn't have to waste time cutting the same spot repeatedly. I lifted the cool soft, flexible metal to my skin. I pressed it down ever so lightly as if preparing or it to cut on it's own. Then an image of my "friends" flashed through my mind. A gentle voice told me that it was the only way for release. Anger overcame me. I pressed as hard as I could down and rip the small piece of metal across my skin in one quick fluid motion. Immediately blood poured from the cut. I couldn't get it to stop and it was located near my elbow on the opposite side. I watched as the blood slid gracefully down my thin arms over other scars and down my fingers. I watched an undetermined amount of blood drip to the floor. This one was deep. I saw little yellow bubbles rise to the surface. I assumed they were little pockets of fat because I had read somewhere that that happened if you cut deep enough, I'd never cut this deep before but it seemed to be providing the most distraction from my life. The stared at it as it continued to bleed. I didn't bother cleaning it. I slid off of my bed and leaned my back against it. I watched as a small pool of blood formed on the ground beneath me. I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes but I refused to let them fall. Brooke flashed through my mind and before I knew it another cut appeared this one closer to my thin wrists. I let the tears fall freely from my face and made another cut. Then another and another and another and another…eventually I was at the point that I was about to press the blade down to my wrists. Then the moment replayed in my head.

_Brooke smiled at Haley as she placed the book back on the shelf in the library. They were discussing Lukas, as they normally did whenever a holiday was about to roll around._ _Lukas' birthday was coming up soon and Brooke wanted to get him something amazing, something that would mean more to him then anything else and who better to ask for that advice then his best friend? Brooke sat at one of the many round tables in the library. Haley sat down next to her as she placed a book in from of the raven-haired beauty. "No Brooke, Lukas does not need a car." Haley sighed._

"_But he doesn't even have one!" Brooke argued. Haley shrugged he'd prefer to walk then a car but Haley didn't quite know how to tell Brooke that her plans were spoiled. "Brooke." Haley sighed again. Brooke had finally gotten the message and backed off with that idea. "So what else could I get him?" Brooke asked as Haley sat down. Their hands brushed against each other and neither could deny the wonderful electricity that surged through them at that moment. Brooke locked eyes with Haley, Haley tried to break away just so that she could pretend that she wasn't pouring her feelings for Brooke of the last two years out of her eyes. It didn't work and she couldn't break away from the gaze of the most beautiful creature on earth. Brooke's hand moved slightly and her nails grazed Haley's skin. Haley shut her eyes involuntarily. They leaned in towards each other and shared a beautiful first kiss just as the girls pulled apart Lukas walked through the door. "What the hell is this?" He yelled at them, he was obviously angry. "Nothing!" Brooke defended as she stood, Haley glared at Lukas for interrupting her one perfect moment in her life. "It sure looked like something!" Lukas yelled again this time advancing towards Haley. "Hales you were kissing Brooke!" He screamed as if she didn't know. "Lukas, Look, I'm really sorry I was just…I slipped and we accidentally kissed." Haley explained lamely. "Like Hell!" Lukas pushed Haley back with force into a table. It slid out of the way as she fell to the ground. "Luke!" Brooke screamed as she ran to Haley's side. Haley stood up and Lukas made another advance towards her. He raised his fist and punched her hard in the mouth. "You little Dyke! I don't mind if you're gay Hales but don't touch Brooke! You disgusting piece of scum!" He spat at her. "You're gonna burn in hell bitch!" Lukas screamed at her. Brooke watched as Lukas kicked her quickly he then grabbed Brooke's arm and walked out of the room. Haley lay on the floor, blood dripped from her nose. _

That had hurt so bad, he was supposed to be my best friend. I thought to the moments afterward before I ended up in her room.

"_Brooke I'm sorry." Haley said as she caught up to Brooke in the hallway. "Stay away from me." Brooke replied simply. This hurt more then any cut on Haley's arm could. "What?"_

"_Stay away from me, dyke." Brooke said as if she were about to cry. Haley couldn't believe what was coming out of Brooke's mouth. "I hate you." Brooke whispered. It was obviously forced but it still stung Haley like a knife piercing her heart. Haley watched as Brooke walked away with tears evident on her cheeks. _

I stared down at the blade in her hand, I was already bleeding so much I was sure if I had stayed like this I'd die. Then I switched the blade to the other hand. I pressed down straight on my wrist I saw the blue vein bulge slightly as if in anticipation. I slid it across in one fluid motion. It didn't hurt as much as I'd thought what I was feeling was more like…relief. I was finally going to escape this hell. I was going to be free, free of prejudice, free of the world, free of her life. I tried as best I could to hold the blade in my already slit wrist hand. It only seemed to make the blood squirt faster out of my body. I successfully slid the blade across my other wrist. This time more slowly, more appreciative I watched the blood spill from my body like rain from the sky. The world started to go fuzzy, I got dizzy and the earth went black. Then suddenly it was like a giant light was turned on, at first I thought it was the light at the end of the tunnel I'd heard so much about seeing when you died, but it wasn't. I saw Brooke standing above me, I saw Brooke leaped down to my level and pull my face into her hands. I saw her take off her shirt and wrap up my wrists gently, trying desperately to stop the blood. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone, I watched her dial 911. "B-B-Brooke." I said in a whisper, I knew she heard it. "Just keep talking baby, Just keep talking to me." Brooke smiled I could see the tears fall freely from her face. "Dot cry Tigger, I love you." I said, I knew she knew that I meant it. She leaned down and kissed my lips. "I love you to Tutor Girl." And with those last words and the feeling of her lips on mine again I slipped peacefully from this world, wishing I hadn't wasted so much time not telling her. I wish I could take back the time I'd lost but I can't. I was content and peaceful as I slipped away knowing she loved me like I did her. All I want is for her to be happy, maybe one day I'll see her again I just hope that it's not too soon.

**A/N: Well that was pretty sad and depression, review, tell me if I should continue and yes I have plans if you want me to continue. So yeah, do that. Sorry if I brought down your mood and I will try my hardest to update my other two stories but I've hit a snag in both of them. Well let me know if I should continue. **


	2. visitor

**A/N: Haven't updated this in quite a while but luckily I am now. I just re-read what I already had written and I realized the first draft of this chapter was crap. So I started again. Here it is…have fun…tho I doubt you can really do that **_**yet**_** in this story.**

**(Yet being the operative word)**

**This will get happier after a while and Haley may not be in a coma for long…OR she may be in it for the rest of her life. **_**I**_** don't even know yet.**

I reached down and touched Haley's soft skin, so delicate and so silky, almost like porcelain. I let my hand slid down Haley's face and touch her arm. I couldn't believe this was Haley James. Haley James who always seemed so happy. Who reads every night and explains the history homework to everyone who needs help. The tutor, the girl, my love. How could she be so sad that she wanted to end her own life? She took those pills and then cut her wrists. She made her heart work so hard that it couldn't take it. She's gone. At least a part of her is gone. Physically she's still here but a part of her is gone. She's in a coma. The doctor had said there was a chance she'd wake up within the next six months. I new that was partly a lie. Some people never woke up from this kind of thing. Three weeks had passed and there was still no progress. Haley was still partly dead, she still hadn't woken, and she was still in a coma. I heard the door creak open slightly. The room was so dark the small slit of light from the hallway had created an eerie glow in the room. "Hi." It was a familiar voice but I couldn't quite grasp who it was. I knew it was a voice I hadn't heard in a long while. I didn't answer. Whoever it was sat down in a chair just behind mine. "I thought I should come." There it was again. The voice. It was masculine, definitely a man, but it had an angelic feminine tone to it that made just a little bit harder not to listen. I turned around. "Hello Lukas." My voice was bitter and raspy. I hadn't used it for a long time. Only when the doctors came to check on us did I speak. "Is she okay?"

"What do you care?" I knew it was harsh but he had NO right to come in here and say anything to me or in Haley's presence. "Brooke you have to understand," Lukas started but I cut him off. "You were supposed to be her best friend, love her for always, remember? You're supposed to be there no matter what happens. Love is supposed to exceed everything." I stopped; tears welled in my eyes, threatening to spill with each passing second. "What happened to that?" I hissed as I moved my hand back to her body, I laced our hands together. "She kissed you." Lukas hissed as if it was supposed to explain everything.

"I kissed her back!" I hoped it would come out strong but it failed me once again and cracked in the middle of my sentence. He looked shocked. I wanted him to cry. I know that makes me a bad person but I wanted it. I wanted him to realize that all the times I've told him I loved him I was thinking of her. That every time he touched me I wished it was her hands caressing me. In that moment I think he did and an odd feeling of satisfaction overcame my body. "What do you mean? Are you gay now to?" Lukas asked, his voice filled with anger. He stood quickly and I winced as he knocked a plastic chair away from his path to Haley. "No." I replied simply. He stared at me, confusion laced his features "I'm in love." I said gently. He smiled at me. "I love you to Brooke." I shook my head.

"I'm in love Lukas, but not with you, I'm in love with Haley." I tried to keep the happiness from saying this out of my voice but I couldn't any longer. "You bitch!" He screamed. I could her footsteps in the distance. They were angry. "Get out." I said steadily. "Get out right now, They're coming and you're going." I hissed.

"You dyke." He said. A new emotion I've never seen on him threatened to unleash itself on me. "You're going to hell with her!" He screamed. The door knob turned but he jumped for it. He locked it quickly. I've never seen him move so fast. I remained calmly in my seat. "If I get to be with her…Gladly." I smiled. I knew this bothered him. Lukas jumped for Haley and I screamed as I stood. I ran to the door and unlocked it. There was no one there. "HELP!" I screamed loudly from the room. A security guard walking down the hall with a coffee in his hand ran to my room. He instantly dropped the coffee as he saw what was inside. "GET OFF OF HER!" The officer yelled.

Lukas was choking her. He was pushing her hard into the pillows. I was sure he was breaking her shoulder. The guard grabbed Lukas quickly and ripped him away from the room. A doctor waited outside, swiftly moving passed me as he checked on Haley. "She'll be fine." The doctor said aloud. I heard a sigh of relief moments later did I realize it was mine. Lukas was hauled passed me "Whore." He said as he spit on me. I wiped it away quickly, unfazed at what he had said. I nearly sprinted back to Haley's side. "Are you okay?" I whispered quietly. "She can't hear you." The doctor reminded me. "Yes she can." I said "She's just tired and worn out. She's going to be alright." I hissed and glared at the doctor. He shut up immediately and walked out of the room.

I sat back down in my spot and laced my fingers with Haley's again. There's no way I was going to let her NOT survive. There was so much I had to tell her. "I love you." I said again. This time I heard a whimper. A small whimper and I don't know if I imagined it or not but her hand tightened around mine. "Haley?" A shot of excitement moved through me. "Broo-." I heard nothing else. I yelled to the doctor and the doctor ran in. "What is it."

"She's awake!" I screamed with joy. He checked her pulse and did odd things with her arms and neck. "I'm sorry ma'am but she's not awake." He said. Immediately I felt sad again. "Of course she's awake, I just saw her." He shook his head. I sighed.

I need her, without her I have nothing. I knew in that moment this was going to be a long period of my life. And if she wasn't a part of the rest of my life that maybe 'd be the one needing to escape.

**This is probably the most dialogue you'll get for the rest of the story…Sorry. There will be dialogue but this is the most you'll get in one chapter. Sorry ( anyway hope you liked it and just so everyone knows I was gonna let this be a oneshot (the last chapter I mean but **_rain1657_**reviewed and then I immediately wrote this chapter, look for the next one in a few days or so.**


	3. one year earlier

One Year Earlier…One Year Earlier…

Haley James sat alone in the farthest corner she could find in the jam-packed house. She'd agreed to go with Lukas to this party so that he would watch a full Marathon of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" the next day. She figured that if she did this for him he had to do at least that for her. So here she was, a book in one hand and the car keys in the other. She decided that it would be best if she was the designated driver for the night, Haley knew that Lukas was probably off somewhere having sex with his new girlfriend, Brooke Davis. God, how Haley hated that girl. Okay so she was head over heals madly in love with the beautiful creature but she hated that she was. All she wanted was to be straight. She just wanted to be like everyone else. Truth was, she just wasn't.

Just as she placed her car keys back into her pocket she heard the loudest thump she'd ever heard come from up stairs. Of course she was the only one who'd heard it because the music was so loud and living with Taylor gave her the ability to hear over exceptionally loud music. She decided that since she had nothing better to do she'd check it out. It was never a good sign to hear loud bumps at parties. She made her way around the corner of the house. Haley had never been in this house before, she'd never actually been in any house that one of her classmates resided in, with the exception of Lukas of course. Up the stairs there was a small mirror just above a rectangular shaped table. It was mahogany and matched the stairwell nicely. Someone hired an interior decorator for this house. It was incredibly obvious. She opened the first door on her right, she quickly calculated in her head where the sound must have come from before she opened it fully. It was the bathroom and no one was in there. She shrugged. Just as she was about to go back down stairs she'd heard a small laugh. It wasn't like a giggle from a satisfied teenage girl, it wasn't a playful laugh, it wasn't even a genuine laugh, it was sinister. It was angry and it was bitter. Haley walked to the door that the odd sound came from.

She heard a small cry, now she knew something was up. That's when she saw it, there was a guy sitting on top of a girl while she struggled. Then Haley noticed what that pleading voice was, it was husky, it was sexy, it was Brooke! "Get off of her!" Haley yelled with as much anger and strength that she could muster, unfortunately it went unheard.

"I said GET OFF OF HER!" This time it was louder, a lot louder. The guy turned around and looked at her. It was Tim. "Who the hell are you?" He asked angrily.

"Get out." She said, her voice came off slightly less intimidating, as she would have liked. "Why should I?" He asked mockingly.

"Get out and I _won't _call the police." Haley threatened. This seemed to really piss Tim off.

"What? You think that she didn't want it? You think that you calling the police would do anything!? Hell it won't do shit! She wants to get fucked by a different guy every night! We didn't even do anything anyway so go ahead, call the police 'coz last time I checked consensual kissing ain't a crime." He spat at her.

"Wow, Consensual, that's an awfully big word for such a little man." Haley started "Just get the hell out." He laughed at her newfound rage. "What if I-?"

"NOW!" Haley yelled at him. This time she actually saw a small bit of fear cross his eyes, Haley must've said it a little louder then she thought because that was when Ryan Allen cam running in. He'd known Haley for a while and when he saw Brooke crying and pulling her bra strap up He acted purely on instinct and dragged Tim away from the girls.

"Are you okay?" Haley asked as she walked to Brooke's side. Brooke nodded and let out, in a defeated voice, "Thank you."

"He didn't…?" Haley trailed off, too shocked at the thought that the girl of her dreams could have just been a victim of rape.

"No, He just kissed me." Brooke said, her voice low and sad. Haley nodded she helped Brooke up. "Thanks Haley." Brooke said as she walked towards the door "Please Hales, don't tell anyone about this." Brooke pleaded with Broken eyes. Haley a little too shocked that Brooke actually said her name and called her by a pet name just nodded.

About an hour later was when the party really started. There was no more drama. Tim left both the party and tree hill. That was kind of the point of this party. Sort of like a going away bash, well thankfully he's gone now and no one will ever have to remember what he _almost_ did with Brooke. So once again Haley was alone. She sat by the pool in the back yard. The lights both inside and outside of the pool lit up. God, Bevin's yard was beautiful. There was a hot tub Just to the left once you walked through the slide door. On the right there was a barbecue along with a trunk that held a bunch of deflated pool toys and the chlorine and other chemicals needed to take care of the pool. The pool was in ground and had tile-like-rocks surrounding the entire pool and extending a few feet out. There were pool chairs placed randomly along the side of it and a diving board at the opposite end of where Haley sat now. She was where the stairs descended down into the water. She remembered that Lukas had made her wear a bathing suit under the tank top and skirt she was currently wearing. He told her that Bevin had a pool and that he wanted to go swimming with her. Unfortunately he was nowhere in sight at the moment, nor has he been for the last little while. Beyond the pool there were giant oak trees. And a pool house. It really was amazing. Haley had learned from one of the party-ers that that was the guest room. 'If I listen closely I can practically hear the condom breaking now.' She thought to herself as she dipped her legs into the lukewarm water.

Haley felt a tap on her shoulder. There she was, Brooke Davis holding two cups of what Haley assumed was alcohol. "You look like you could use a drink." Brooke gave her that heart melting smile that she was famous for. "I don't d-drink." Haley said quietly, she was screaming in her head about the damn stutter she'd yet to get rid of.

"C'mon, Everybody drinks." Brooke said as she took a seat next to Haley. "Besides I'm still totally sober…okay, so I'm not all that sober but right now I'm as alone as you are, no offense." Brooke said quickly.

"Non taken. I'm only here for Lukas, I want to make sure that he gets home safely." Haley told Brooke. Brooke nodded "Wow, I don't think any of my friends would do that for me."

"Sure they would, Brooke, anyone would do anything for you." Haley joked. Brooke laughed "Yeah probably." She played along. Brooke handed Haley the drink as she curled her legs under her, campfire style. Haley brought the large red cup to her nose and sniffed. "It smells horrible." Haley said. "Wow you really don't drink huh?" Brooke asked in disbelief.

"I'm up for new things." Haley laughed. Brooke nodded as she took a giant glug of her own cup.

"What is it?" Haley asked.

"Rum and coke." Brooke laughed. Haley looked at Brooke's cup, the liquid was a different color then her own. "And yours?" She asked.

"Straight whiskey." Brooke replied. Haley nodded as she took a short sip of her drink. It tasted disgusting but was she going to tell the girl of her dreams she didn't like the drink she had made her? No of course not. She drank the disgusting liquid quietly. "You don't have to drink that." Brooke giggled once she finished all the alcohol. Haley smiled "Thank god." Brooke walked away and for a moment Haley wondered if she had ruined the extremely short friendship she'd seemed to acquire a moment ago.

Her fears were extinguished as she saw Brooke's form walking back towards her with a blue cup in her left hand, a red one in her right and another red one under her arm. It was easy to see she was about to drop them so Haley stood and grabbed the red one from Brooke. Brooke smiled as she pulled the other cup from under her arm and put it in her hand. She led Haley towards a couple of beach chairs. Haley sat down quickly. Brooke sat next to her. "What's this?" Haley asked as a sudden feeling that she would be taste testing all the alcohol this evening.

"This," Brooke pointed to the blue cup "Is a coke…minus the rum." Brooke smiled her winning smile. "And these," Brooke pointed to the two red cups "Straight rum and vodka."

"You sure you can handle those?" Haley asked, she realized how stupid a question it was once it left her mouth and the stupidity was confirmed when Brooke laughed. Brooke just shook her head and giggled.

Four Coke and Rums

Three filled cups of straight whiskey and

Two glasses of Vodka later…

Haley walked Brooke to the bathroom. She walked into the oversized room with an extremely nauseous Brooke Davis. "Thank you Hales." Brooke giggled as she uncurled herself from around the toilet bowl. "Uh…No problem Brooke…Maybe we should get you home." Haley said as she helped Brooke to her feet. "Uh…We-ss can'tsh go h-home Ha-ahaha, Haley."

"Why not?" Haley asked concerned.

"Mother and-pfffttt- father are away." Brooke giggled after that. "I have to bring you to your house okay." Haley said.

"I don't wanna be alone." Brooke laughed at her hand for a moment. "You can stay with me!" She said loudly after less then a minute of silence while Haley thought of what she could do with the puking beauty. Haley was a little more then scared to actually spend the night with Brooke Davis let alone a drunken, vulnerable Brooke Davis. Sure, Haley could control herself but she didn't want to test any boundaries, especially the ones she's yet to figure out. Just as Brooke started to throw up a little bit Haley pulled her hair back and started rubbing big circles on her back.

"What are you doing?" A familiar and yet foreign voice asked. Haley looked up, it was Peyton. "I'm helping Brooke." Haley said as she pointed to a passed out Brooke. "Oh , Shit, Is she okay?" Peyton asked.

"Yeah, just drunk out of her mind, She's gonna have one painful hangover in the morning though." Haley joked. Peyton smiled at the girl in front of her. "If you want I can take her home, I _am_ her best friend, It's in the job description."

"Taking your friend home drunk is in the description?"

"Oh yeah, it's right above: Bring them an outfit they could never leave the house wearing unless they were shot in it, which would happen if their father saw them wearing said item and always give them the prettier charm bracelet." Peyton joked. "I'm gonna have to read that over again." Haley said then asked her for help getting Brooke home. Peyton nodded and replied "I'll take her to my place."

Haley agreed and they quickly got her out of the party and to Peyton's house. "Thanks Haley…even though I don't really know you I just wanna say thanks because no one else who just met Brooke would do this for her…Hell even most of her friends wouldn't do this for her." Peyton said once they were in Peyton's room and had Brooke lying comfortably on the bed. "Yeah well, I'm sure she'd do it for me." Haley suggested. Peyton cocked her eyebrow and suppressed a laugh. "Okay so maybe she wouldn't," Haley said, she then noticed the time on the guitar shaped clock to the left of the bed "Is that the right time?" Haley asked when she noticed that the computer said something different and so did the clock on the wall. "No." Peyton said as she reached into her pocket, she pulled out a cell phone "It's 12:10."

"Crap, I have to go…I promised to have Luke home by 12:00 exactly, Karen's gonna kill me." Haley informed as she started towards the door.

"Lukas was already gone." Peyton said just before Haley turned the corner to go downstairs. She stopped and turned back to Peyton "What?"

"Yeah, Him and Nathan started fighting and Chuck through them both out. I think Alexandra drove Lukas but Nathan drove himself…We tried to stop him but…ya know how Nathan is." Peyton noticed Haley's lost look at the end of her last statement. "Well I guess _you_ don't really know how Nate is." She said after a minute.

"You mean I went to that damn party for nothing! UGH! I'm going to kill that…that…that JERK!" Haley yelled. Once she came down from her rage she realized she was still in Peyton's room and Peyton was staring at her like she had ten heads. "Sorry. I s-should go." Haley said as she once again walked through the door. She hoped Brooke would be okay. She was mad that Lukas left her there but she was still thankful that he made her go…or else who knows what would've happened to Brooke.

Saturday morning…

Brooke heard a soft knocking in the distance. She opened her eyes, her sight was still pretty foggy and her head felt like someone had used it as an oversized golf ball. The door slipped open slightly; Peyton stepped into the room carrying a large tray filled with thin pancakes the size of someone's palm. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" Brooke asked as she sat up whilst Peyton brought the tray closer. She laid the food down at the foot of the bed.

"So what happened to you last night?" Peyton asked.

"What do ya mean?" Brooke asked concerned that she'd done something stupid last night, something she couldn't remember but once she did she knew she'd regret whatever it was.

"Well, I just mean that When I found you with that Haley chick you were shit-faced. Why'd you get so loaded?" Peyton asked, this time concern dripped from her voice. "I don't even remember it P. Sawyer. Haley? Lukas' Haley?" Brooke asked confused. Peyton nodded her head as Brooke tried to remember anything from that night. All she could remember was someone saving her at that party and…that was about it.

"Oh well. I didn't sleep with anyone did I?" Brooke asked Peyton, who shrugged and stood. "We should go."

"Where!?" Brooke nearly screamed as she looked at the clock saying '8:37'.

"Cheer practice."

"Oh God! Who was the genius that decided that?!"

"Uh…You." Peyton laughed as she made her way towards the door. "Get in the shower, you have 25 minutes or I'm leaving without you…And you know if you don't go then the team wont do anything and we'll suck at the competition. So really if you don't go, not only will you let down your team mates, you'll be letting down your school." Peyton said the last part while slapping a hand to her chest in a mocking way.

"Burn in hell!" Brooke yelled as she chucked a rather large fluffy pillow at the sarcastic blonde, who ducked it and left the room at an incredible speed.

Saturday afternoon…

Haley felt the delicate sun streaming in from between the blinds on her face as she gradually came back to the world of the living. She rolled over onto her stomach and let her arm dangle off the side of the mattress. Her eyes opened and she saw Lukas' sleeping form lying a few inches away. 'You bastard!' Haley thought to herself as she stood. Still, Lukas didn't move. She walked towards the small bathroom attached to her room. She came back with a glass of freezing cold water. IN one quick motion she flipped Lukas onto his back and splashed the water onto his face. He opened his mouth and wiped his eyes. He looked like a large pale fish, his mouth gaped open and his eyes now wide he stared at Haley in fright.

"What the hell was that for?" He asked as he rolled onto his elbows and dried his soaked face in the pillow he'd gotten from the closet last night.

"Leaving me at that damn party!"

"They threw me out!"

"You could have told."

"I know, I'm sorry!"

"I hate it when you agree with me! Dammit, I had some really good ammo too!" Haley huffed as she tucked her arms under one another, she now looked like an upset child being told they can't have the blue power ranger. "I know," Lukas started "Listen, do you wanna go get some breakfast?" He asked. Haley noticed the time on the clock at this point. "Make that lunch." She said as she started back towards the bathroom. "Gimme fifteen minutes."

"You got thirty." Lukas informed as he turned on Haley's television. Happy Tree Friends were on Razor. Gosh, He loved that show so much.

17 minutes later…

"You're the fastest girl in the history of the world to ever take a shower get dressed, put on make-up, and then do your hair." Lukas chuckled as Haley walked out of the bathroom looking her usual perky self.

"Yeah well, I need coffee now or I'm gonna drop." Haley said as she grabbed her light gray Scott Motors sweater.

Karen's Café…

Brooke, Peyton, Rachel, Bevin and a few other girls from the cheerleading squad walked into the small café as they discussed the newest cheer. They sat in one of the booths on their left. After a minute one of the waitresses walked towards their table. "What can I get you?" She said in a soft soothing voice. Rachel looked up at the girl she's never seen before. "hi," She glanced at her name tag, "Riley, listen how about we have three cokes, apple pie, three burgers and fries and a basket of onion rings…Oh and a salad and diet coke for Brooke." She smiled as she received a slap on the shoulder from Brooke at the last part. "I'll have a burger and fries too, thanks." Brooke laughed. The dark haired girl smiled and quickly jotted down the order then went back to the kitchen. "So who is that?" Peyton asked.

"When I was in the office the other day I saw her talking to the principal. I might have overheard something." Sarah said. She was usually a quiet girl, sat in the corner most of the time, always had a book in her hand, she wouldn't even be on the team if she wasn't such a damn good cheerleader. "What?" Rachel asked.

"Well apparently, that girl transferred from some all girls preppy rich kid school but after she got pregnant she got thrown out." Sarah said, she was rather excited that she was included in the conversation.

"How do you get pregnant at an all girls school?" Bevin laughed. Rachel stared at the blonde for a moment. "I'm not even going to touch that one." She said after a minute. Sarah nodded her head and then continued "I also heard that it wasn't a teenager's kid, It was her Math teacher's baby." The girls gasped in unison. "Hey Brooke, someone actually has you beat for slut of the year." Rachel teased. "Wow, you're just full of 'em today aren't ya Rach?"

"Well I _do_ try." Rachel said back. "Amazing, I had no idea your mouth was good for anything else then sucking-."

"Here ya go." Riley walked back to the table with all of their food balanced on two arms. "that was fast." Peyton commented. "It's pretty slow right now, ya know that lull just before the lunch rush. You girls are lucky, you got here early, in about ten minutes you're gonna have to kick someone's ass to keep your table." Riley joked as she placed the food in front of everyone. Just as she was walking away Peyton dropped her iPod onto the floor. Riley bent down to pick it up when she looked at the screen. "The Ramones are always a good choice." She commented before placing the small music player on the table. Peyton nodded.

Brooke looked towards the door as she saw new people approaching. "Lukas!" Brooke jumped out of her seat nearly knocking Peyton clear across the room. The small jingle above the door was heard through-out the café. Brooke hugged Lukas quickly then took a step back to watch her new boyfriend. Damn he was a hunk. And sweet too, He was a truly amazing guy. "Hey, What are you doing here?" Lukas asked the raven haired beauty in front of him. "Lunch with the girls." Brooke replied that's when she noticed Haley standing next to Luke. 'She looks different today' Brooke thought to herself 'She looks like her normal pretty self but something about her…It's got to be her hair, yeah she probably styled it differently today.'

"Tutor girl." Brooke gave the short girl a warm smile.

"Brooke." Haley tensed up slightly at the mention of that stupid nickname. "Are you guys gonna sit?" Brooke asked as she motioned her hand towards the table where her friends were sitting. Luke nodded his head "Yeah we came to get something too eat." He informed. No matter how close she came to becoming an actual friend to Brooke last night this wasn't last night, this was the next day and it was as if nothing happened. That's how it always was with Brooke, Whether it involved friendship, sex or alcohol. It just never happened. "Actually, I think I'm going to pick up an extra shift here, see if Karen needs any help." Haley smiled as she started toward the kitchen. She walked through the door and saw Riley sitting down with her head in her hands.

"What's the matter?" Haley had met Riley two weeks previous to this one. Riley looked up shocked that anyone else was in the room. "Sorry," she said as she wiped away a few tears "I'll get back to work." She said as she started to get up.

"No, come on tell me what is it that's bothering you?" Haley pressed. Riley sighed. "Well…Noah's dad just called me." Riley explained.

"Noah?" Haley questioned. She'd heard that Riley had a kid but she didn't believe them.

"My son, I know everyone's talking about it." Riley informed once she saw Haley's not so shocked face. "Yeah, Sorry, anyway continue." Haley said as she led Riley back to her seat and sat the girl down she then took a seat herself.

"Well, He told me that he's getting married and his new fiancée doesn't know about me or Noah…He doesn't want me to call him anymore." Riley blurted out. "I don't care what the bastard does but Noah should get to see his father! I read an article about boys who don't have father figures in their life! It's not pretty!" she sobbed. Haley laid her hand comfortingly on Riley's shoulder. Then a thought occurred "Seventeen is a little young to get married." Haley joked "I don't think it'll last."

"Henry is thirty." Riley said just loud enough for Haley to hear. This was the most either girl had really talked to each other, they usually worked different shifts and they never really saw each other at school so this was a lot of confirmed information that Haley had preferred not to know.

"Oh. Wow." Haley said a little louder then necessary. "Wow." She repeated. "Yea." Riley nodded then let her head hang low. A moment of silence passed.

"I should really get back to work." Riley suggested as she stood. "Ya know what, How about you go spend the day with Noah and I'll cover for you." Haley suggested.

"Why?"

"Because I need something to do or I'm going to have to talk to the group of cheerleaders out here."

"Well the curly haired blonde's a cutie." Riley winked. Haley was taken by surprise but nodded along, okay she was more then confused now. "Her name's Peyton." Haley offered.

"She has good taste in music." Riley smiled, Haley nodded. Haley put on an apron, grabbed a pen and notepad and started to walk out the door. Once she opened it she saw Brooke sitting on Lukas' lap. She closed the door when she met Brooke's gaze. Riley walked up behind her.

"When are you gonna tell him?"

"Who? What?" Haley asked.

"When are you gonna tell Luke?"

"Tell Luke what?"

"You know what."

"I don't think I do."

"Whatever, far be it for me of all people to give advice to anyone but you probably shouldn't keep it inside all the time, it'll just get harder, he'll understand, he seems cool like that." Riley said in a final tone. Haley nodded, she knew what Riley was saying but still telling Lukas that she was gay would be the hardest thing she'd ever have to do.

"Okay." Haley said after a moment. Then Riley put on her coat and left.

'I should tell Lukas soon.' Haley thought once she was all alone again. 'Next stop on the disaster train from hell? Telling Lukas.' Haley thought.

Jessica

_**A/N: If ya haven't figured it out this is AU with little hints of things along the way, until I say it will keep going one year earlier of the coma. I might flash back here or there. I just want everyone to get the details of the horrible things that closed mindedness can do. I want someone to realize that you don't have to do something big and mean to make someone hurt. The little things do a lot to. This story will have a lot of those things in it. All right thanks for reading please review; I'm righting chapter four now so… look for that in a bit**_.

P.S. SO SORRY I KEPT YOU ALL WAITING FOR SO LONG HOPE THIS MAKES UP FOR IT A BIT! ??Please??


	4. Twistedly unnatural

"Brooke Davis

"Brooke Davis." I heard my name being called through the wooden door. This was the moment of truth. I had to decide right then…was I ready to go back to school? Without thinking I barged through the door. "Here!" I said a little louder then actually necessary. A few students chuckled at me. "You're late." Mr. Bouer said as he scratched out a small 'X' and replaced it with a check. This is why I loved this teacher. He and I played off of each other. Immediately I felt myself switch into 'School mode'.

"There was a detour?" I said with a hint of question in my voice.

"Wow, been away for a week, back five minutes and you're already lying to me." He said taking off his unnaturally tiny glasses and cleaning them with a handkerchief. "Lie to you? I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about." I smiled.

"Take a seat Ms. Davis, I've grown incredibly tired of your useless banter."

"I'm gonna dignify that with me playing the "You started it." Card."

"Okay then I will play the 'Get in your seat before I send you to the principals office' card." I smiled and nodded my head as I quickly took my seat. Because of everything that has happened…I forgot how great it felt to be me. Or at least the me everyone else saw. Even if it was fake, it felt good to be the girl everyone wanted to be or be with.

Michelle Smith, one of the many girls on my squad smiled at me. As long as I can remember she has been sitting next to me for one or two of my classes each semester. It's really quite odd actually. The thought that she and I have been sitting together for months, are on the same squad and yet…I couldn't tell you her middle name. I couldn't tell you her favorite color. I couldn't tell you anything she's allergic to. Hell I couldn't even tell you common knowledge like who in the hell she's dating.

"Where ya been Brooke?" She asked while I settled into my desk. "Nowhere really, I went to New York." I lied skillfully. "Really? That's so cool." The conversation continued to go down hill until it was so completely boring and insignificant that for a moment I wished I could switch places with Haley. At least then I wouldn't have to listen to this incessant chatter. God, was I like this weeks ago? Was I so god damn annoying like this girl next to me? Wow. No wonder Haley and Lukas used to make fun of us. We are just as simplistic and semi-retarded as they said we were.

All any of us really caring about is the popularity we either gain or lose depending on the choices we make concerning who we date, what parties we go to, what cooler we drink and other stupid little masses of insignificants. Then something Michelle said caught my ear. "What was that?" I asked, unsure if I had heard the girl correctly. "I said: Have you heard about Haley?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, no doubt she thought I was stupid. "No, What about her?" I asked playing just as she thought; dumb. "Well, last week Lukas came to school. And he was all like mad. And him and Nathan got into this huge fight." Oh My GOD. She is doing that annoying thing where the sentence turns into a bloody question at the end of it. "And like, it was super insane. So Peyton was all 'Man, what's wrong.' Because she had to like take over the squad while you were gone. Anyway, it ended up that he told the entire school that Haley was in the hospital. Apparently she like tried to kill herself or something and like poor Lukas is blaming himself." Luke? Blaming himself? As well he should, but he didn't tell them about me and Haley…right? "Is that all he told everyone?" I asked. Michelle looked at me confused. "Uh, yeah, Why?" Wow. The blonde boy from hell hasn't told the entire school that his ex-girlfriend was a big giant lesbian.

I suppose it's more to save his reputation then mine. Instead of answering her I turned my attention to Mr. Bauer. He was going off about something I simply didn't understand. So I just watched and acted like I was paying attention. There was a knock on the door, it was quiet but it echoed throughout the classroom. "Come in." Mr. Bauer called. IN walked Lukas Scott, a man…a boy that had gotten so far under my skin I couldn't scratch the bastard out from under it. He passed a note to Mr. Bauer and his eyes swept over the room. They landed on me.

I felt disgusting with his gaze on me. Like I was dirty, like I had bugs crawling all over me, like my skin was bubbling up and crackling creating a disturbing scent. Then he looked into my eyes. He waved happily at me and blew me a kiss. I tried to hold in the urge to throw up right there…but I'm only human and this was simply an inhumane situation. Michelle will just have to deal with having to change into a different pair of shoes. "Brooke! Gross!" The class turned to me as my cookies were tossed all over her. "Brooke Davis, go see the nurse."

"I'll take her." Lukas piped up. "I can take myself." I hissed as I moved passed him and headed towards the nurse. "We have to talk!" He yelled out to me as I walked the hallway with him quickly behind me.

The nurse's room was just around the corner. Only a few steps and I'd be in a protected place where he couldn't get me. I felt his cold hard hands grab onto my shoulder. "No, listen to me. I need you to listen to me." He pleaded. "We can be together." Lukas said as he tightened his grip on my shoulder. I struggled out of it. "Stop it! We can't! Damn it Lukas. What the hell is wrong with you? You have the entire school thinking they should pity you!" I yelled. He lowered his head. "Brooke will you just listen to me for a second?" He begged.

I waited, just because he was talking didn't mean I had to do what he wants. "I know you okay. I know you better then I know myself. Without you I can't feel my heart. I need you Brooke, and you need me to."

"I don't need you-."

"I'm the only one that knows about you…and Haley."

"You're point."

"There are a lot of things that you want to be remembered as Brooke, But the 2nd half of the school's totally out lesbian couple is certainly not one of them. Am I wrong?" No. He wasn't wrong. I'm not naïve, I've thought, wondered and worried about this very subject. All my hard work as captain of the cheerleading squad, everything I've done for the student council as president. All of that undermined because of a little bit of gossip. My popularity diminished.

For the first time in a long while I looked at Lukas. His eyes were so bright, and yet they were so sad. I hated seeing him sad. And in truth I loved this boy. He was my Lukas. We were strong together, good together, he unlocked the better person in me. He showed me that I can be more then the cheerleader, that I can be deeper then all of this surrounding me. He introduced Brooke to 'Brooke Davis.' How could I not love the boy that did that for me?

You can think I'm a monster, you can pretend that you wouldn't love him. You can say I'm a horrible person. It's the truth. Because in the split second that he made his point, in the brief moment that I understood what he meant…I forgot about Haley. But I had the right to forget about Haley for a few seconds.

It had been a few minutes and I could tell Lukas was pleading for my answer. I leaned up to him, only now realizing how close we were. My lips touched his. It was soft but I felt his strong body against me. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe. Safer then I've ever felt before and I could tell that was because now…I had nothing to worry about.

"Now, All you have to do is never see Haley again." He said softly. Wait, hold up. What? "I'm sorry?" I asked, it felt like my brain had gone all…fuzzy. "I said that all you have to do is never see Haley again." He said.

"No." a beat passed on silently as my word settled in. "Brooke-."

"I said NO. Now you listen to me Lukas Scott. I can be with you. I can love you again but I can not stay away from Haley, she's my friend." I told him. "But what if you have feelings for her."

"I don't." I lied. If it meant I could see Haley I would have told him she was my blood kin. "Are you serious?" He asked me. "Luke…I felt guilty, like it was my fault. So I was with her and when you got all mad I just wanted to hurt you for jumping to conclusions." …Annnddd the Oscar goes to…

--

I'm curled up into a hospital chair, Haley's cold form across from me. Is it possible to be utterly disgusted with yourself and yet feel happy with the choice you made? If it is that is what I am right now, A big ball of confusing disgusted excited energy. Damn Lukas and his stupid-ness. Why'd he have to go and make sense on me? I think I liked it better when I hated him for seven days.

In truth my mind wasn't on Haley. Even as I sat in the chair, her father next to me, her mother getting the three of us coffee, I wasn't there. I was somewhere else. Where things made sense. Where I loved one person, and one person only.

"You're conflicted." Mr. James said.

"Excuse me?"

"You love my daughter but you're scared." He says without even acknowledging that I spoke. "Brooke, let me tell you a little secret okay? It takes people a long time to understand something that's different. Sometimes they never do. But love is spelled the same regardless of who writes it down." As he finished Mrs. James walked through the door passing him a coffee._ What the hell did that mean?_ Something inside me, call it instinct or simple common sense, told me that the conversation that was mostly just him talking was over.

"I talked to Dr. Cravzin in the hallway." Mrs. James said as tears streamed down her face. I couldn't tell whether this was good tears or bad tears. "He wants to speak with us outside." She pointed her statement at Mr. James. Leaving me alone, once again, in this damn room. Everything seemed colder in here somehow…even my coffee was remarkably cool. I've been waiting patiently for a week now. It was about time I got bloody furious but before I could I heard a voice in the room.

"Tigger…beautiful, tigger." My eyes shot open wildly. "Haley!" I yelled out. Immediately running to the bed. A mass of emotion exploded over me. I had no clue what the hell I was thinking but I slapped Haley across the face. "Ow! Jesus Christ! What the fuck was that!?" Before I could think my mind was answering for itself. "Did you even think of me, Haley? How could you do that? Do you honestly think I can live without you? Dammit Hales. You're my everything!" she looked hurt for a second but I once again felt my emotion take hold of me. I immediately leaned down and pushed my lips to hers. It had a certain roughness to it. This kiss was generated from pure, raw, pent up passion that has been bottled inside of my heart for months. I broke away as I realized I was making out with Haley…In a hospital bed…after she woke up from a coma…hours after I told Lukas I loved him…when did life get so…twistedly unnatural?

A/N: Yeah, so yeah, once I again I've decided to take the story somewhere else. But don't get me wrong, We'll still be flashing back to before Haley did what she did. I'd like to apologize for having updates so far apart and having them short. I had a lot of different drafts for this chapter. But the simple fact is, my baley loving friends, this story is really hard to write, because a part of me doesn't want to re-visit this place and a part of me knows I have to. So you'll have to excuse my hesitation for this story (Also I haven't forgotten about my other story, I'm working on it I swear.) You can skip this next part if you want because it's basically just me talking for a minute.

A few weeks ago, I think, I started talking to this girl through e-mail (I know her brother). They're family is Mormon. And being that religion doesn't exactly understand (it seems like a safe word) the whole 'gay thing' And I've come to realize that, When someone who's gay thinks that someone who's not is ignorant because of what they believe then we're really being the ignorant ones. You see, regardless, people are people. And though we say that we don't understand that. I've heard a million times that it doesn't matter if your gay or straight your still a person. But I always say that people who aren't accepting of homosexuality are…my words exactly I believe are usually 'homophobic assholes' but that's not true. Because just as I can't understand their unwillingness to accept, they can't understand how I feel to want another woman as a life partner. All I'm saying is that the acceptance street goes both ways. In this world people will not want to be around me because of my sexuality and I have accepted that. ALRIGHTY! That was longer then I intended. I'm gonna try to finish off my other story before I come back to this one…So yah…Talk to ya all later.

P.S. BREAKING DAWN! WOOT!

He


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